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| humor me |
| 06.27.05 (3:58 pm) [edit] |
Summer is soo glam! Summer here in America, tha is. Summer in Manila is like soaking up beside a really huge fireplace with blazing fires. There is absolutely no exaggeration to what I've said. It is that HOT. I've decided that I'm lovin, lovin the weather for the past days since summer began. Coolie, tropical, fresh, breezy, what-have-you. I have feelings for the weather, I think.
Got stuck watching filipino channel yesterday. Stayed kasi at mah other uncle's house while ours were being repainted. Gawd. I can't stand most of the shows, really, yours truly. Philippine media can be so fuckin tacky and undoubtedly and unbelievably unoriginal. Star in a million is like a copy and paste metaphor with that of American Idol. I respect the MASA's simple enjoyment and all that, don't get me wrong. But is it really too much to ask to stick to an original idea by ours truly? Won't that provide more enthusiasm and less disgust by people like moi who react and think otherwise? Hindi sa pinagmamalaki kong hindi ako isa sa MASA. I admit that I'm a victim of soaps, but when it goes down to pride and creativity, can we humbly call it "products of our own ingenuity"? Or a mere "copyright from..?" Lack of free proper and moral education is the Philippines' flaw. I hate it that we're such a fucking poor-ass country with a female president who everyone is totally hating on right now. Gawd. Again. Everyone is soo ana over there and here I am, lovin the fucking weather. My god I am so not being nice.
Was at the bank earlier and the teller who was attending to me happened to have these hideously long, pointed nails painted silver. Honestly. How tacky. Again, why do I care? Just an opinion. I have decided (again) never to consider face lifts, nose lifts, breast augmentations, and fake tans to be part of my devastatingly and wonderfully planned life. How the hell did I plan my life? Mall trips, earn lots of money as a sexy therapist who wears schoolgirl skirts to work, simple french-tipped nails, sipping fraps with my fellow Park Avenue Princesses, hair highlights, two suites, and in the arms of the most enthralling and impeccably handsome el chico in the whole fucking world. Oh mah gaaaa.
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| whatta day |
| 06.25.05 (7:54 pm) [edit] |
Today was the first time that 46 and I rented Filipino movies. HAHA. We rented four, but only got to watch 2 kasi gipit sa oras and I needed to be home early. Fucked up curfew, I know. Eto patawa. Merong trailer nung movie nila Richard Gutierrez and Angel Locsin entitled Let the love begin. It was about this rich girl (Angel) who falls in love with Richard, a janitor. Tapos parang nilait nung friends ni Angel si Richard kasi poor siya and syempre, rich girls just can't fall for poor guys, according to the standars of the mga sosi ng Manila. Yung nakakatawang part is that, Richard isn't exactly looking the part of someone who's poor. I mean, a person with a face like that can't be a janitor. Pwede naman siyang mag-artista diba (sa movie)? O kaya.. model. Pero janitor? Kaya nga minsan I get pissed when I watch movies like that. They make it so bubblegum-ish. Bakit di nalang iniba yung plot? Ginawa pang gwapo yung janitor nakakaloka. Si Oyo Boy nga pwede pa sa part eh. HAHA. Im just being honest. Ayus lang ma-inlove. Mayaman man o mahirap, pangit o maganda. Love is all that matters. Kaso kasi sa movies dapat talaga pogi at maganda ka eh. Tapos gagawin kang mahirap at katulong. Parang tae. I mean let's say pangit ka na, janitor ka pa.. magugutuhan ka ba ng, let's say, katulad ni Angel Locsin? Exactly. Swerte mo nalang kung Richard ang looks mo.
So.. yun nga. Bored ako. Manuel called kanina.. HAHA. Okhay. Ayun may plano na rin next week na gigimik kami ni Lucky. Para makalimutan ang mga bagay-bagay.. or whatever you call it. HEHE. Talked to Jhem earlier.. Poor girl. Confused by what she wants, who she wants. Pareho lang kami ng pinagdaanan.. I was in the same situation not too long ago.
The hardest part was letting go, not letting part.
If everything could ever feel this real forever, if anything could ever be this good again
If only right?
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody. This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me..
To the one I love. PARA SIEMPRE =)
I told Jhem na we're still young, there's plenty of time to think about things such as commitment, settling with the right One, etc. It's never too late to love again. Kung sila talaga ni Lucky ay meant to be, then we'll soon find out, right? Not now though. =))
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| life IS one big fucking movie..! |
| 06.24.05 (7:20 pm) [edit] |
Yea. Forget those "reality versus fantasy" shit. Every person's fantasy can turn into reality if he wants to. My reality can vanish into a far-away fantasy.. like death.. or lost love. Something like that.
Browsing thru some blogs earlier (and I wished I hadn't, fuck) I read some not-so-pleasant happenings. Damn. People are getting really philosophical these days. Taking life too emotionally and spiritually. Life, soul, peace, borken heart, tears, moving on.
/EDIT
So. Jhem broke up with my bestfriend because she's inlove with another guy. I don't mean to offend you or anythin hotsauce, pero that's got to be the bitchiest thing ever. I mean, that would be the climax of my movie. I break up with my boyfriends either because they suck or it's not workin out. But never because I love someone else.. That's some pretty fucked up shit. Mahal ko si lucky and all.. and he doesn't deserve what happened because he's madly, deeply, serious over Jhem. Gawsh. I need to cheer him up somehow.. Movie or sumthin. Yep, definitely. His situation is waaay beyond ana (depressing). Syempre ako pa ung nade-depress para sakanya. Well. Ganun tlga.
Im taking up Spanish classes again.. Interesting. I love it.
He doesn't seem to miss talking to me. Oh well. Figured I was never worth his time anyways.. so who cares right? My ex is totally over me. I still care but then again, why shoud I? Good thing though.. because everytime we talk, I get those breaknurepxias (breakdown attakcs). I dont get it either, fuck.
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| we against the world |
| 06.22.05 (8:44 pm) [edit] |
Earlier this afternoon I had in mind what I was supposed to put as a new entry. I spent an hour sittin and listening to my parents' sermon-ing me about my attitude that had undeniably "caused more pain and damage" than I ever could've realized. For countless times they've lectured me of bad behavior - too much pride, insensitivity, mayabang, disrespectful, etc. And somehow I've always managed to right myself in the end. Simply put, I try to change, fail miserably, but still I continue to rise and try again. I guess my parents do have the reason in not placing too much of their trust on me, and I totally accpet that. Coz basically I give little care of what they think of me. I've had enough of straight-arrowed parents and the rest of my conservative freakshow of a family. I'll keep up with what they want for awhile - that typical good-girl image - then I move out.
Mom: You know, we really don't understand what goes on inside that head of yours. Talk to us so that we have a clue. Don't leave us hanging like this because that's why we don't get along!
Me: Right.
Mom: You can talk to your friends but not to us. What's wrong with you?
Me: Nothin. I jus feel more comfortable with my peers. Is that such a big deal to you?!
Mom: Unfortunately for you, yes. They're not the ones paying for your food, school, and everything else. And yet you go to them and pour out your emotions to them and you can't do the same for us?
Me: You can never understand me. No matter how hard you and I try there will always be that communication barrier between us and its something that I can never change! Don't blame me if I cant relate to you because I simply can't. Why not just send me to a freaking shrink?
Mom: I give up.
PART 2.
Mom: Hindi ka naman tanga. You're a straight-A student and yet you make these kinds of decisions. Why?
Me: Having perfect grades does not make me a perfect person. I'm not dumb I know. I'm not wise either. I duno.
Mom: It's your future you know. You don't know what you want for yourself. Bahala ka.
See? I'm just your average rebel. But it's true you know. Kahit na gano mo pa i-explain sa magulang mo na kung bat ka ganito and shit.. they're never gonna understand why. Kahit anu pang sabihin nilang pagrarason. Bullshit.. all they know is I should be this, be good, be polite.. blah. I can be those things, I know. Ewan.. malabo lang talaga siguro ako.
Another thing that ticks me off is how they always tell me that the reason why I am the way I am is because I don't pray. In a nutshell, God is nowhere to be found in my life. I can't exactly tell them that I've lost the faith a long time ago. I feel like such a fucking hypocrite I know. But I'm not about to start reading the bible or praying the rosary, no. Let the folks talk, take em' all in, and do the "right" thing. For now.
Fuckin entry I hate it
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| kailanman |
| 06.19.05 (10:35 am) [edit] |
Minsan lang tayo makakahanap ng taong labis na nagmamahal, yung kaya kang ipangtanggol no matter what, nanjan sa labas ng pinto mo kung kelan man na kailangan mo siya, at higit sa lahat, ang taong tumatanggap sa'yo.. masama ka man o mabait, maganda o pangit, matalino o hindi.. basta't tunay ka.
kailanman ikaw lamang aking mahal
kailanman ang tanging kong pinagdarasal
minsan pa sanay mayakap ka
patutunayan na mahal kita
Oh sinta, sarap magmahal. =)
Yesterday Mervyn held a mini-grad party at his house. Met Garrett's gf, Mary Ann, her sis, her bro, and Joy. Nice. Mejo na-outcast nga lang ako coz.. well because. I WISHED Sharon was there para atleast I wouldn't feel like a freakin wallflower. Manggagago nalang sana kami.. HAHA. Gang bang ampu. Rjay came afterwards.. he's so cute. Went home, fixed my room, then played videogames with my cousins. Kyle called asking when we gon hang out again. I said I have no idea. Boring life ko.
This morning I dropped by Rjay's house coz he was sick. Poor baby. Sharon called, blah blah. Um went to church.. yaawn as usual. Saw Ryan Perdi-sumtin. We were standing beside each other and I could tell he was gettin fidgety. Iono why.. must be coz I make him nervous? Weird HAHA. Saw Kyle and Merv. Nice. Drppoed Mervyn home, went home, ate lunch.. and now, wala bored again. Tangena what kind of entry is this?
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| today is another story |
| 06.16.05 (6:55 pm) [edit] |
Liking my background music? HAHA. I thank my cousin, Ian, for providing the sounds. He said it added more feel to my blog. Weird but okay, ill take it.
It rained today, till now the weather is chilly. Nice. I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Rjay this afternoon. Twas a powerful movie, sexy and funny too. I wonder if the release of the film will cause more controversey between B and A. Then again, controversies started way before the movie came out. What a beautiful disaster.
I'm sporting a new look - nothing too outrageous or flashy - holding my bangs with a clip, off to the right side. Cute. Makes me look 5 years younger which I think is a pretty good thing. How come kids are always in a hurry to grow up and look older and more mature? Whereas for grown-ups, they'd do anything to obtain the latest face essentials - guides to looking fresh and young. Ironic, isn't it.
A call from Nica this morning was refreshing because I missed her so much =) The bad news of her break-up with the BF had her wishin' that fights would disappear and that only love and happiness would remain. Sometimes we all wish for the same thing. No war, only peace. No anger, only love. No fights and jealousy, only good marriages/relationships. No failures, only success. The question is, how would you know and feel happiness if there is no unhappiness? There has to be something that would contrast another something for it to make perfect sense. How would you know what love is without experiencing hurt or anger? How would you explain success without having to experience failure? For a relationship to work, there has to be quirks. Quirks lead to arguments, arguments lead to being a team and working it out together, learning from each other, and eventually creating a stronger and closer bond.
I duno if I'm making sense but these thoughts just sort of popped out of my head while listening to my friend's complains and whinings over the phone, about how unfair life is. Of course life is unfair.. there's only one Paris Hilton. HAHA. Kidding. Seriously. I guess it's more of looking towards the positive side of things instead of relying on the negative. Life is fair.. we just make the wrong choices sometimes. Or most of the time.
My back still fucking hurts. Atleast my cough is gone. But my back is totally killing me.. I'm too young to have osteoprosis, right? I need a fucking 5-hour massage.
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| survey i |
| 06.13.05 (12:40 pm) [edit] |
Brought to you by Survey4Teens.com via my good friend, Tatyana Gomez, who apparently has nothing better to do at the moment. =)
Describe yourself in one word. I'm a vain beauty.
Is making friends easy for you to do? No. What with all the fakers out there.. it's hard to pick out REAL friends.
Who do you think knows you the best? David
Top favorite restaurant/s.. Cheesecake Factory and Zen Buffet
Sounds you crave.. Rock of course. A little bit of hiphop every now and then, and some classic music to relieve the stress
Bands you so totally dig.. Incubus, Nirvana, Slapshock, Modest Mouse, Papa Roach, Hives, Strokes, Donnas,, to name a few
Younger guys or older guys? Either which.. but the age gap has to be 2 years, no more no less :)
What do u think of girls making the first move on guys? Definitely sexy. Earns plus pretty points. HAHA.
Guys who shave their pits or guys with excess body hair? Ew... neither.
The last time you cried? Last night
Beach or Mall? Mall!!
This is going to sound old and outdated but heck.. flowers or chocolates on a first date? You're right. That is an outdated question coz' most guys nowadays gives you neither. HAHA. Chocolates would work for me.. We could even share it together.. Yizz.
Guys love you because.. I'm open to anything that goes on inside a guy's mind. They have no problem sharing their emotions with me. And most importantly, I am one of the guys. =)
Your girlpals love you because.. I make them laugh and I'm up for almost anything that they feel like doing. Go with the flow, yiz.
Three major reasons why other girls can hate you.. 1. I can be a snob at times 2. I'm dating their ex boyfriend/s 3. Simply jealous of moi
Types of people you loathe the most? FAKERS, USERS, BACKSTABBERS, AND GUYS WHO THINK WITH THEIR PENIS
Shoe brand/s you love? Kenneth Cole, Guess, Steve Madden, Nine West, Converse, Vans, Salvatore Ferragamo, SAKS Fifth Avenue
Clothing labels you adore? Guess, Armani, S. Ferragamo, Anchor Blue, Paul Frank, Forever 21, Bebe, People Are People, Vicotira's Secret, Abercrombie&Fitch, Kenneth Cole, SAKS Fifth Avenue
Worst nightmare? Last time I had a pimple breakout
Flip flops? Yep
You hate anyone right now? Oh yes :)
First kiss Can't remember.. Cmon now. HAHA.
Purse essentials? liquid blush, lipgloss, mirror, cellphone, listerine, money, license, and i.d. (in case there's the need to go clubbing! lol)
A trait that you don't usually show to people.. Um.. my tendency to feel superior towards some unfortunate people..
Complete the 2-word statement: "Good girls.." often do bad things.. *wink*
Can you act ghetto? Y? I'm filipino all da way, doog. HAHAHA. Seriously.. some folks just try TOO hard to be in, fit in, end up looking StuPiiiid.
A guy has to have ______ at all times. fresh breath. oh i changed my mind.. MONEY. =)
Dream car? 2005 lamborghini gallardo.. in purple please.
Type anything i'm craving for *toot's* *toot* ... haha siiiike
Dang guys. It's soo hot. Summer's here and I'm not really liking it one bit. Ciao for now.
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| i miss you already, los angeles |
| 06.11.05 (6:31 pm) [edit] |
Though the trip only lasted for an hour and a half, I am downright exhausted. My luggage hurt my back when I dragged it off the ramp. Aah. One thing that put me off was when I saw this girl wearing the exact same shoes as mine. Exact color as well. Freaky. Atleast she got taste.. I mean, Kenneth Cole is soO the hot topic.
Yep that's right. Missed Los Angeles the minute the plane left the ground. I miss the palm trees, hollywood, hot spots, fantastic amusement parks... Oh gawd. It's back to Alameda, home of the dying and corrupt.. where the wannabes and addicts roam the free streets. I'm harsh. My cousin and I didn't have much to talk about though.. and I missed that. But hell.. he's just too damn engrossed with his computer game to even care about my presence.. Oh so what. Just another useless human being in my so-called normal world.
Nontheless, I had a pretty good vacation. Two short, fulfilling weeks paid off greatly to my surprise. As swiftly as I had arrived, next thing I knew, it was goodbye place of dream. Well.. not really. But it's definitely included in the "hottest top ten cities to visit before you die". The people were great (more babes), the beaches were to die for, food is almost exotic to the taste... i love L.A.! Saw Kobe Bryant wearing an Allen Iverson Jersey and a tall hat.. which was weird. But hey, it's Kobe!! HAHA. Kuulness. Saw 50 cent filming his upcoming movie. Saw Jason Biggs at Bubba Gump with his family.. i think. Saw Rick Fox with his wife and kids. Too many celebrities, so little time. Crap.. but figured it was worth it anyways. Yeah.
There were some highly unexpected things that happened too over the past weeks. Like.. the bitch going off to drama mode again. But.. still a bitch. Three of my friends pregnant. My dad, almost having a heart attack when he found out about my overspending. My mom hating on my relatives (fuckin faggots). My cousin who never said anything about his motorcycle accident. A pimple that broke out under my lower lip.
On a lighter note, was able to communicate frequently with 46, Jhem, Lucky, Carla, David, and Jayde. Hot. My pimple is gone.. extra hot. I have pink glitter polish both on my toes and fingers. Bangin.
Things are a bit clearer between David and I. I'm glad.. that 4 hour talk reaalllyyy was amazing. Loved it.
I'm tired, gotta rest for awhile. Lots of pictures to come.. I'll upload em' next time. Ciao.
Yeah I'm a hater.. but hey, so are you. Then again.. aren't we all?
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